Zekeriya Guser – Captivated conductor of my very own extraordinary journey.

when i went into my room last night i felt it was empty even though there was furniture, even though i was there it still felt completely empty.so i left for streets.
i didnt know where to go or what to do but all i knew that i didnt wanted to be in that empty room all alone.
i went into a pub, it was an enormous pub with a few people in.reached to the bar and order my double jack daniels on the rocks from a not very attractive barmen. tried to chat her up but didnt succeed. so i carried on and sat in the middle of the saloon. i looked around for some company and there was a few girls and some of them was even sitting alone. but i felt too tired to try to chat them up. so i carried on sipping my drink and looking around.
the ice in the whisky was melting. as it became smoother i started to drink even faster.
and then suddenly there was a girl standing next to my table looking at me. she had a elegant posture, looked pretty intelligent.but i had no idea why she was there…
as she stood up there looking at me, i was staring at her without telling a word.
then she hold the chair and asked: “may i?”
i wasnt sure what to say, was she a prostitute? or just a lonely soul looking for company like me?
so i say what the hell! and replied: “please”
she smiled and sat down.
we looked at each other for a while like tring to analize one and another.
and i though i should say something and asked: “what are you drinking?”
she replied:”sorry i was bored and no offence but i though you were the only decent looking guy in the pub with a proper drink!”
i was very flattered as it probably was the greatest complement i had from a total stranger but i still kept cool and only said: “thanks”
i wasnt sure how to play this…and as it was obvious from her attitude so was she which did take the pressure of me a little bit.
i reached forth, hold her hand and said: “my name is not steve but you can call me jack”
she looked at me as i am crazy with a funny little smile on her face and then said: “my name is not jennifer but call me stephany”
so now we were officially no one to each other at this lonely night.just two stranger who is there for no good reason…
i wanted to say something but had no idea where to start with because this wasnt any ordinary conversation so far.
so i said “tell me something about yourself,something so personal,something you may even be embarrassed anyone to know so you have to keep it to yourself and as i am someone who doesnt even knows your name who you probably wont see ever again you can share it with me and then feel safe that no one in your life will ever know.”
she had that look again like i am a mad man which i was weirdly enjoying! and she asked: “like what?”
i said something like: “i like to wear odd socks sometimes for no good reason and because i dont want anyone to know i wear another pair on top of them so i know i wear odd socks but no one would know!”
she started laughing and i smiled…but then she looked so comfortable…like a friend i knew for years…
and then there was a silence, she was thinking…thinking something to share about herself which she may not be able to share for the rest of her life!
and i didnt wanted to break the silence.
then stand up to get a drink.asked what she was drinking, she said “double vodka martini, no ice”
i came back a minute later she was there looking at me with the eyes of a seven years old girl who is just about to confess that she broke the vase in the living room.
i was intrigued to hear what she was about to say.
she said: “i sometimes…” then her voice broke, she was obviously in pain. i didnt wanted to push her too much but another part of me was convinced that this was her only chance to share this very information with someone without feeling guilty, so i asked if she is ok!
she said: “i am fine, sorry”
then she carried on: “i sometimes want to believe my dad actually did go to a business meeting and will come back in the middle of the night and gonna sit next to my bed and watch me sleeping for a while and i will pretend like i am still sleeping just not to make him feel guilty for waking me up.”
i had that smug smile on my face again as always but she understood i wasnt being smug to her as her eyes were watered a little.then she sipped her double vodka martini with no ice, shaked herself up and smiled.
she looked relieved and i didnt wanted to say anything about it as i didnt wanted to look like i was judging her.
i felt like i needed to say something but i didnt wanted to ask anything like what does she do for a living or where is she from.
then something silly came out of my mouth: “is this your real hair colour?”
she laughed and said: “no, i am not a fake blonde!”
i laughed too and replied: “i knew it!”
we both laughed…
we carried on talking for a while, as the third drinks were about the finish, the not very attractive girl at the bar came to our table and said: “we will shut in half an hour if you want anymore drinks hurry up.”
she said: “i will get these.”
i said “jack daniels with ice”
as she was walking back the bell rang in the pub, that was my last half an hour with her.
after those drinks were gone she said: “i need to have a smoke” so we walked outside.but it was a little chilly so she went inside again to get her coat. after she smoked, the place was closing so we started walking down the street then she asked: “did you had a coat with you?”
then i remember i forgot my jacket in the pub, i said: “wait here for a minute i will be back”
as i was walking back to pub i was thinking if she will be still there when i go back or will she be gone.then i saw my reflection on the window of the pub and asked to myself: “i am nuts?” then i replied to myself: “of course i am nuts; i am asking MYSELF if i am nuts!!!”
i went back to the end of the street and she was there, i was as happy as i was when i saw the lego set that my parents bought to me when i was 6 or 7 after asking for it for weeks…
i said to her: “do you wanna have anymore drinks?”
she nodded and replied: “but no where is open at this time on a thursday night!”
she was right then i thought of offering to come to my place for some wine but i wasnt sure how to ask.
so i just spilled it out: “i can offer you some wine if you like at my place, i have a nice bottle of pinot noir, of course if you would feel comfortable and if not i totally understand”
she stopped a while with confusion and then said: “i still think you are a decent guy so why not, couple a glass wouldnt hurt”
so we went up, openned a bottle and carried on chatting.
as the bottle was empty we were considerably intimate and ended up in bed.
next morning i woke up and watched her sleeping for a while which made me feel a litle guilty because i wasnt sure if i wake her up as i wasnt sure if she was pretending that she was sleeping.
she then woke up and looked at me for a short while. there was a smug smile on her face as she was thinking something naughty.then reached to the drawers next to the bed and started opening them till she gets to the bottom one where my socks are, looked in it which was full of same black socks.
then she looked at me again with those confused eyes but didnt say a word.
then smiled a little, after which i felt like i had to made an explanation.and said: “i never said i do wear odd socks!”
she replied: “i thought so!” and smiled.
then she went out of the bed and started to put her clothes back on.then said: “lets not makes this weird with kissing each other now or saying goodbyes”
i nodded as i agreed and replied: “fair enough”
then she just said: “thanks for sharing my loneliness last night stranger or should i say, jack”
both laughed as she walked out of that door and my life…
the room was empty again like the glasses on the table at the pub as we were leaving and cold as the ices that were in my whisky.
which means i was back to reality.
so, anyone for a full glass of double vodka martini? but no ice..!